On the Path to the Foggy Self Mirror

🗂 Cuneyt Aksoy – Self Authoring Project

---

🧭 MACRO MINDSET – “The Way You Must Walk”

To become the person you described—calm, elegant, independent, focused—you must think
and move differently.

This is your north star mindset:

🔷 “I build slowly, but I build deliberately.”

Nothing rushed. Nothing wasted. Every habit is a brick.
Minimalism in action. Elegance in decision. No noise. Just presence.

🔷 “Discipline over emotion.”

You don’t wait to feel like it. You act anyway.
You hold the routine. You show up.
On bad days, you scale down—but never stop.

🔷 “I do hard things gently.”

You don’t punish yourself into change. You outgrow the old through small, intentional effort.
You’re not here to prove anything. You’re here to become someone real.

🔷 “I am not wasting my life.”

Every task—work, gym, reading, silence—becomes a vote.
A vote for Riyadh or the U.S.
A vote for fog or clarity.
A vote for numbness or self-respect.

You cast your votes daily.

---

🧱 MICRO ACTIONS – “Breakdown of Your Ideal Future”

🟩 CATEGORY 1: Mind

Goal: Mental clarity and stability
Steps:

• Stay consistent with meds and treatment (no skipping)
• Daily writing—use it as a mirror and anchor
• Start 1 mindfulness ritual (e.g., 5-min morning sit or cold water rinse)
• Track your mental cycles (energy/focus/mood) for 1 month to see patterns

🟩 CATEGORY 2: Work & Usefulness

Goal: End each day feeling like you genuinely did work
Steps:

• Keep showing up on time and asking to learn more at work
• Choose 1 side skill to master in 6 months (writing, networking, scripting, anything)
• Keep a tiny “done list” every day—not to impress, but to build proof
• Review your week every Sunday night (What helped? What drained me?)

🟩 CATEGORY 3: Style of Life

Goal: Productive, minimalist, elegant routine
Steps:

• Declutter workspace and bedroom: remove all noise
• Create a daily rhythm (even 3 anchor times: wake, work, wind down)
• Buy fewer things, but better ones—build your life like a moodboard
• Move your body 2–3x a week, not for fitness, but to feel alive

🟩 CATEGORY 4: Self-Built Identity

Goal: Become someone you respect
Steps:

• Revisit your Ideal/Worst-case future weekly—remind yourself of the stakes
• Create a folder named: MY LIFE DESIGN —store notes, ideas, reflections
• When overwhelmed, ask: “What would the elegant version of me do right now?”
• Don’t try to be good—try to be real. And let that be enough.

You’re not just “trying to improve.” You’re becoming someone precise.

---

🔹 PAST AUTHORING

📍 Event 1: Being Moved to Another Class (6th Grade)

• Experience: Lost friends. Never adapted. Felt alone, helpless, and depressed.
• Behavioral Shift: Became distant, quieter, more reserved.
• Lasting Pattern: Difficulty belonging. Developed protective walls. Still affects group dynamics and trust today.
• Insight: The event didn’t cause the wall—but it activated what was already there.

📍 Event 2: Chaos at Home

• Experience: Constant fights, shouting, and unpredictability in the household.
• Emotional Impact: Scared, overstimulated, always on edge. Conflict felt dangerous.
• Behavioral Pattern: Became emotionally submissive, conflict-averse, and took on the “glue” role.
• Lingering Effect: Still fears conflict. Often feels responsible for others’ emotions. Becomes the mediator even when no one asks.

---

🔸 PRESENT AUTHORING

✅ Strengths

1. Cool-Headed
   • Calm by default. Slows down chaotic environments.
   • Weakness: May avoid necessary conflict; can be taken for granted.
2. Pulls His Weight
   • Strives not to burden others. Reliable and accountable.
   • Weakness: Overextends and burns out. Struggles to say no.
3. Mediator
   • Smooths over tension. Fills emotional gaps.
   • Weakness: Sacrifices his own needs. Predictably yields space.

❌ Faults

1. Emotional Disconnection
   • Fluctuates between caring too much and not at all.
   • Pushes others away. Struggles to form deep connections.
2. Lack of Effort
   • Feels like nothing is worth it. Rarely pushes to full capacity.
   • Starts and stops. Deep down wishes he had tried harder.
3. Mental Illness
   • Fog, depression, anxiety, focus issues. Affects every area of life.
   • Feels like potential is blocked behind an invisible ceiling.

---

🟦 FUTURE AUTHORING

✨ Ideal Future

“I built it slowly. I saw it for myself. And now I know what my life is made of.”

• You live in the U.S.
• You end each day proud of your work.
• You have mental peace. You can focus.
• Your life is minimalist, structured, elegant. Like a writer’s.
• You didn’t follow others blindly. You made deliberate choices.

🕳 Worst-Case Future

“I am delaying life.”
“What’s been wasted? My potential.”

• You’re back in Riyadh, dependent on others.
• No job, no purpose, no structure.
• You still suffer mentally—chaos, distraction, numbness.
• You keep avoiding everything. Letting relationships die.
• You’ve wasted the very thing you knew you had: your potential.

---

🧭 MACRO MINDSET – “The Way I Walk Now”

• “I build slowly, but I build deliberately.”
• “Discipline over emotion.”
• “I do hard things gently.”
• “I am not wasting my life.”

Each day is a vote. Choose who you become—over and over again.

---

🧱 MICRO ACTION PLAN

🧠 Mind

• Daily journaling (reflection or raw vent)
• Consistent meds or mental wellness tools
• Track mood, focus, and energy patterns monthly

💼 Work

• Stay reliable, ask to learn more
• Pick 1 skill to master every 6 months
• Keep a “done” list. Review Sundays

🧹 Lifestyle

• Declutter your space and mind
• Define 3 anchors: wake time, work start, evening shutdown
• Move your body 2–3x a week just to feel alive

👤 Identity

• Revisit your Ideal/Worst Futures weekly
• Build a MY LIFE DESIGN folder for planning
• Ask: What would the elegant version of me do right now?

---

🪶 Closing Note

You are not behind. You are becoming.

Your life isn’t random—it’s written.
And now, you hold the pen.

Print this. Tape it to your wall. Read it on bad days.
Let it speak back to you when you forget who you’re becoming.